Emmys 2013: Granny Chic, the Hot Trend for Fall

Breaking Bad was the big winner, but nobody's surprised. 

I loved the choreography number. Nice touch to the show.

Enough of that. Here's the important stuff. WHO WAS EVERYONE WEARING?! I don't check to see what the experts say before I write these, so you should probably file all of my "bad" ones under "best dressed." 

Let's start with the bad, they're the most fun.

MY WORST DRESSED WINNER! DING DING DING!

Amanda Peet in Erdem

There are so many things wrong with this...I can't. We saw a lot of high-low dresses on the red carpet, and this is an example of a bad one. The whole idea of high-low is to give the illusion of short while staying conservative/age-appropriate with long. Tell me, then, why the "short" is over her knees? Then the polka dots, the lace, the granny collar, the peek-a-boo midriff, the vampy red bag...

Aubrey Plaza in Marios Schwab

So I take it Aubrey and Amanda got ready together? This is what I don't get. If you still have the metabolism to not calorie count, why are you wearing anything that doesn't flaunt your fleeting skinniness?! You're going to look back on this and hate yourself for not wearing something sparkly and backless. And what the heck is hot-glued to her sleeves?

Cat Deeley in Armani

So apparently the saddlebags look is in this fall...and is it just me or does the top look like a cat?

Heidi Klum in Atelier Versace

Tim Gunn: I'm concerned. Why is she wearing a dickie?

Heidi: I just wanna rip that dickie off! Can you take it off? There you go. Much better. I would wear that in every color. 

Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham

I can deal with the bloomers (how did she use the bathroom?), but this is just begging for a fashion malfuntion. At least she is staying true to the young with great metabolism thing, though. 

Kate Mara in J. Mendel

I'm sure this is very fashion forward in someone's book, but the top gives her a uniboob and her hair is all wrong. Add in the stripper heels and you've got the perfect storm for an epic fashion fail.

Kerry Washington in Marchesa

Why can't Kerry get it right? This is too girlish, too frilly, not doing anything for her bust and the wrong color. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Some stylist is getting paid too much! 

Elisabeth Moss in Andrew Gn

I want to like this, but I feel like it's the same thing I wore in 2000 to a military ball with the guy who was still in love with me from high school but who I kept in the friend zone until he got married, so I wanted to be pretty but didn't want to spend a lot so I got it on sale in the junior's section at Macy's for $30 and just removed the red sequined rosettes that I assume were meant to give it that extra something special. Maybe this looked better in person. Or maybe it needed some red sequined rosettes.

January Jones in Givenchy

Kudos to January for not looking deranged this time; alas, she is part of the Granny Chic and No Accessories trends of the evening. 

Lena Dunham in Prada

Why does Lena keep antagonizing me like this?!?!?! Okay look. Make the poof into a pencil skirt, make the top strapless with a sweetheart neckline. Put on a black and gold cuff, sparkly earrings and some red heels. That's how this might have been okay. *rageanger!!!*

 

Zosia Mamet in Honor

Are the "Girls" in on this together?! The fabric on the bottom is actually really pretty and different, but who cares about that because you're just looking at her tiny boobies! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


And now the good ones...

Allison Williams in Ralph Lauren

I'm only including Allison because her co-stars taunted me while she kept it real. Pretty color, but wish she had tried a little harder. Why not a sparkly necklace or big earrings? I just don't get it.

Alyson Hannigan in Marchesa

Love a good purple with red hair! This dress is gorgeous on her. Hard to believe she's a mama.

Christina Hendricks in Christian Siriano

Christina's stylist is getting paid just the right amount. I lurv that she's wearing a Project Runway designer's dress. The black is not boring, the lace is so feminine, and the bustline and train are perfect.

Julie Bowen in Zac Posen

This is how you show off a hot body. Julie has to work at hers -- maybe that's why she's dressing to impress and the younger actresses aren't?

Kaley Cuoco in Vera Wang

Perfect red for the fall, tastefully sheer midriff, great bustline, gorgeous skirt. The younger ladies need to take note or get her stylist asap. 

Leslie Mann in J. Mendel

High-low done right. I love how the "high" is defined by the chevron stripes. Flattering, interesting, on trend. 

Brooke Burke-Charvet

My first thought was This is kinda 90s, but about a millisecond later I was thinking, I NEED THIS DRESS. A genius way to make white look utterly slimming.  

Michelle Dockery in Prada

First of all, her haircut is adorable. Secondly, I would never think to put these two shades of red together, but each shade makes the other pop. Perfect for fall, even better for the red carpet.

Rose Byrne in Calvin Klein Collection

At first glance this doesn't look like much, but what I love about this look is the tasteful midriff peek-a-boo. The high-waisted skirt and halter top separate at the perfect point to maintain the taste level. The color and lack of embellishment keeps the element of surprise where it should be. I would have liked to see a glittery necklace along the neckline, but otherwise very well done.

Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang and Lorraine Schwartz

I mean, basically anything Sofia wears is going to be amazing. She never gets it wrong. She used to, but clearly she realized she was paying her stylist too much and got a new one.

Laura Dern in Naeem Khan

This color is so beautiful, and the lace looks like a garden cascading down her back. She looks like a modern day Marie Antoinette.  

Jessica Pare in Oscar de la Renta

I actually hate this dress, but I am obsessed with her shoes! At least the dress is cut to show off the best part of her outfit.


AND THE BEST DRESSED WINNER IS... 

Zooey Deschanel in J. Mendel, Chanel and Charlotte Olympia

Flawless, from her soft, bouncy hair to the placement of the draping. The light blue makes her eyes even bluer, and the cutout is so elegant.

Good job, people of TV Land.