Blame it on the al-al-a-al-co-al-co-Turning 30

In my mind my Friday night went like this:

I met up with friends Brittany, Yves-Marie, and Rachel for dinner at Co Co. Sala.  We had a few glasses of champagne (there may have been a shot of espresso infused Patron involved, but whatever, no big deal), some wonderful food (including the new Tuna Tartar which is DEEEElish), and hilarious conversation, maybe the funniest of my life (can't remember any of it now, but I was in stitches so I know it was very, very funny). 

Afterwards Brittany and I walked to the Metro, and Yves-Marie told Brittany to make sure I got home okay.  She can be quite motherly toward me sometimes.

Brittany and I enjoyed a ride on the Metro, and when my stop came Brittany told me to text her when I got home.

"But I am home!" I said, laughing at her. 

"Text me," she insisted.

Aww, Brittany was being kind of motherly too.  Totally unnecessary but sweet.  As the door shut I knocked on her window and waved good-bye.  She didn't look amused.  Must be tired from working so late tonight, I thought.

As I walked up the sidewalk toward my building, a passer by said, "Keep goin' honey, you're gonna make it, you're doin' good!"  I thought that was odd and congratulated myself for walking so well in 4-inch heels. 

I got myself into bed and noticed a text from Morgan: "At Napoleon, your bartender is here, come dance!"  I texted her back that I had just gotten home and had a tad too much champagne and was just going to go to bed.

The next morning:

I had another text from Morgan.  "Heart U."  Aww, that's so nice.  Then I noticed a bunch of texts in between her asking me to dance and the last one. 

Morgan: "At Napoleon, your bartender is here, come dance!"

Me: "Omg iu just got home ange us' wanted
        Wasted
        Trell him hew is hotz"

Morgan: "Hahahaha that doesn't make any sense"

Me: "Yes or does
        I an ain't dickie Brain
        No ni
        I. Am seei.g dobke gh iso po n
        Dpuble.gh Oi sion
        Double vision"

Morgan: "Are you home? And in bed? I hope so"

Me: "Yes
        Drunk as.s.a. skunk
        Ha kunk skajajasjshahahja
        Laughing"

Morgan: "I am LOLing at U!
              Heart U"

So that was my first indication that Friday may have gone slightly differently than I recalled.

Monday, back at work, Yves-Marie, Brittany, and I went to grab a coffee:

"Friday was so fun!" I said.  "We have to do it again."

Yves-Marie and Brittany exchanged awkward glances.

"What?" I protested.

Yves-Marie started: "Let me show you how Brittany was walking to the Metro."  She walked normal, with a touch of sass.  "And now you."  She zig zagged down the hallway flailing her arms like a bird.

"No way, I was walking straight!"

Brittany tilted her head down, looked me straight in the eyes, and shook her head no.

"But I didn't even drink that much!"

Brittany rolled her eyes.  "It got worse on the train.  Do you remember announcing to everyone on the Metro that that girl's rose was stupid?"

I gave her a puzzled look.  Yves-Marie grinned.

"You don't remember this?  Oh yeah, there was a girl -- and she was hood, Mary El, HOOD -- and she was with her boyfriend who had gotten her a rose off of one of those street vendors, and you very loudly told me that her rose was stupid."

That did sound like me.  I get really nervous whenever I'm on a date and those guys with the roses come by the table.  If a guy were ever to buy me one I think I might die of embarrassment.  They are SO AWKWARD.  Almost as awkward as telling a girl who got one on her date that it's stupid. 

"Do you think they heard me?"

"Mary El.  She was about to come over and beat you up.  I was trying to pretend like I didn't know you.  And when you knocked on the window when you got off?  The people in front of me knocked back."

"They did?  I didn't even notice!" I really was not remembering any of this.

"Yes, they did.  And everyone laughed after the doors closed."

Oh my gaaaaaaaaaawsh.  I was that girl. 

"Do you remember drunk dialing me?" Yves-Marie laughed.

"Whaaa..."

"Oh, y'all gotta hear this."  She took out her phone and plugged headphones into it.  Brittany and I shared.

Hiiiiiiiii Yves-Marie.  Just wanted to let you know I got home oka-- eeew, Noli, stop licking in my mouth it's weird!  Go away!  PAUSE  Aaaaaaaanyway, had a great time and I think we should do it more often.  Bye!

"That wasn't too bad," I said, taking out my headphone.

Yves-Marie held up her finger.  "It's not over."

LONG PAUSE Dangit, I think I peed in my pants a little.  You made me laugh, it's not fair.

*ahem*

Well.

Hopefully I can keep this under control for the next three weeks until I turn 30.  Not sure if I'll keep acting like a 20-year-old after I hit the milestone, but at least I'm doin' it in hot shoes.

"I'm lizzing! I'm lizzing!"